The whole business of tying the knot is never a walk in the park since it is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make in your lifetime.
While you can file for a divorce when things eventually went south in your marriage, the fact that you’d have invested money, emotions, and a big chunk of your life, should not fool you into believing that getting married should not be taken seriously.
With such heavy consequences, you should do your research and know everything there is about married life before you even plan for one.
For one, you have to know essential things about you and your partner, such as your individual views about religion, politics, and many other topics.
Additionally, you should make financial considerations such as who pays the bills, what you would do with your personal debts and the like.
Finally, you have to secure certain things to make sure that you’re both fully prepared for the challenges you’ll face as a couple after you exchange vows.
Here are five essentials you must first secure before you get hitched:
As mentioned earlier, you have to work out financial arrangements prior to getting married. By doing so, you could easily settle potential disagreements in financial-related issues so you can have a happy marriage.
Among the financial set-ups that you have to discuss are debt- and bill-sharing (who pays what?) and a prenuptial agreement (whether or not you both feel comfortable having one). These matters may seem like a no-brainer right now, but they can make or break your marriage once they come up in the future.
Unconditional and mutual trust and respect.
Before you exchange “I dos”, be sure to first establish unconditional and mutual respect and trust. Far too many couples rush into marriage without ensuring a strong foundation for their relationship.
This haphazard action is like the parable of the wise and foolish builders, where the foolish builder built his house on sand and the wise builder built his on a strong foundation. Expectedly, the foolish builder’s house was easily washed away when the flood came while that of the wise builder remained standing.
If you don’t want to build your marriage the same way the foolish builder built his house, this is one piece of advice that you must heed.
Pre-marriage orientation course.
There are institutions that offer pre-marriage orientation courses to couples — a learning opportunity that you should not pass on.
A pre-marriage orientation is essentially an avenue to level down expectations and have a clear idea of what married life would be like (including parenting, potential disagreements, and roles). Marriage counselors have great ways of connecting with would-be husbands and wives and making them see their future lives together.
Through this excellent course, you and your partner will be emotionally and intellectually prepared for the realities of married life. This level of awareness will help you anticipate worst-case scenarios and plan out ways to handle them properly. This will, in turn, ensure a smooth relationship no matter what type of problems come your way.
A home and where to locate it.
If you have the financial capability, you must discuss building a home prior to getting married. You have to work out together where you would have the structure built: would it be close to your part or your partner’s?
Once you have settled on the location, you should then hire a competent and reliable building contractor to help you realize your dream home. Your contractor must have a solid portfolio of past and current projects, as well as reasonable rates and necessary licenses and certifications. Finally, the contractor should be a great listener to ensure that your thoughts and requirements are properly translated into the details of the finished structure.
The fifth thing that you must secure before walking down the aisle is a clear set of goals when you are already starting your journey as a married couple. Through careful planning and goal-setting, you’ll discover your strengths, weaknesses, similarities, and differences when it comes to your priorities.
Your after-marriage plans must include different sets of goals such as short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals. These goals must follow the SMART formula: they must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. By having these qualities, your goals would surely come true and help make your marriage long-lasting, happy, and fruitful.
Just secure these essential things and you’ll surely enjoy a married life that is truly worth every second of your waking hours.